Just like the song says, summer lovin’ can be a blast. But, just how do you find love during the summer at the deep level you might desire? Here, Austinite relationship expert and professional matchmaker Julia McCurley explains how and why this might be your best summer of love ever.
Perhaps you are single and you don’t want to be. Could it be that you just ended a relationship with someone and this is your first summer flying solo? Maybe you’re not sporting those chiseled abs and biceps you’d fantasized about and compare yourself disappointingly to those who do possess these attributes? Or, perhaps your life isn’t where you’d like it to be with unattained goals and wavering motivation getting you down.
With all the hoopla that the summer season touts, these types of scenarios and many others can contribute to the “blah” feelings that may signify the “Single Summertime Blues”. Those afflicted with this condition can even feel depressed sometimes, harboring loads of negativity and defeat.
Remember that song “Summertime Blues?” It can certainly feel that there’s no cure for it at times, but good news abounds for all those out there with an aversion for the summer season’s hope for love. There is an escape from the depths of despair. Just embrace the following recommendations and you’ll be well on your way toward becoming a summer worshipper now and always. These strategies, however, are not for the faint of heart. They will require initiative, courage, and risk-taking on your part to bring about any positive movement as this is a prerequisite for any kind of positive growth. You must choose it and be proactive!
5 Tips For Becoming A Successful Summertime Single
1. Nourish your mind, body, soul, and physicality
We all need to take care of ourselves, but especially when you’re stricken with the “blues”, it’s even more critical to engage in regular self-soothing and promote your own personal growth. Learn something new. Take a class. Visit a bookstore. Get a personal trainer and get on an exercise regimen. Eat nutritiously. Do something that affirms your identity. Meditate and practice relaxation techniques. Keep a journal. Pursue a hobby. Get lost in music. While this seems like common sense, it can be very easy to take these simple self-nurturing necessities for granted and neglect ourselves when we need them the most to rejuvenate at difficult times.
2. Plan ahead for love and for your future
For optimal success, it’s important to develop a vision (a blueprint or vivid picture of what you want) for your future, for a mate, and for a relationship. This will give you a path to measure where you’re going and how you’re doing along the way. It’s important to identify your values and the things that would be most important for you in all those areas as this will define your mission. Then you can make conscious choices to make sure you’re living with integrity, a key component of living a life with healthy self-esteem.
3. Become available and ready for Mr. or Ms. Right
This means making the most of being single by taking this time to resolve any unfinished business from the past to bring about closure, grieve any necessary losses, build confidence and a positive self-concept, and defeat negative thinking with more affirming, optimistic mindsets. Embrace your singlehood and stop measuring your self-worth on your dating status; see this as a valuable time to get things in order so no baggage carries over when “The One” arrives in your life.
4. Develop a dating action plan and skills toolbox.
Make a list of your non-negotiable needs that you have for a partner and relationship. What are things that you absolutely must have and absolutely cannot have in order to be in relationship with someone? This becomes your guidepost to screen dating prospects for potential compatibility and will help you save time and frustration along the way. Additionally, start building your repertoire of skills in communication, assertiveness, flirting, boundary-setting, screening, etc. to boost your sophistication and confidence in negotiating the dating jungle.
5. Get out of your head
When you’ve got the “blues”, there’s a tendency to become self-absorbed with your negative thoughts. Get out of your head and channel that energy into something more productive. Nothing works better than helping others. Volunteer for a worthy cause. Live your life fully and do something that will give you more of a sense of meaning and passion. Take stock of all the strengths and positives that you have. You’re a good person so share the gifts that you have and you’ll reap the benefits twofold.
Summer Love’s Lost & Found
So there you have it…this is just a starting point for the cure for the “summertime blues.” The important thing is to start viewing your single status as an opportunity. Your life is what you make of it, as the old saying goes, and you have the power within yourself to make this the best summer of your life if you choose. You can convert the “summertime blues” into “summertime bliss” so maybe you can get started now?
For more information on Julia McCurley and her Something More professional matchmaking services, visit Somethingmore.com