Room To Bloom

The weather’s warmer and love is on the mind. When isn’t it? Here, Austin-based professional matchmaker Julia McCurley shares her insight on how you can stir up a Spring fling in your own life and create new experiences you’ve been craving.

Love is in the air. Literally. I was walking my dog around my neighborhood recently and I found myself engulfed in this amazing fragrance. “What’s that smell?” I wondered. Perfume? Detergent soap? No. It was blossoms and flowers in bloom. In the next moment I realized I was witnessing a natural, yearly occurrence. It’s spring.

It felt like a celebration, at least one for my nose. Then I started seeing the trees all around me, marveling at the new sprouts and greenery. I see it in my own backyard, the Crepe Myrtle trees full of fuchsia blooms, roses, and tulips peeking up from the ground  sending me hopeful signs I will be enjoying some beautiful floral arrangements soon to brighten up my home.

As I think of all the new life around me, I wonder about our own capacity to bloom. Mother Nature is a profound instructor. Does she have something to teach us with her beautiful spring? We’ve all heard the term “spring cleaning,” a time to clear out the old and usher in the new. Maybe we take on physical projects to spruce up our homes? Perhaps, we begin a new workout regime to get in shape? I’d like to offer another idea for this springtime moment. How about letting go of bad habits and being good to ourselves to create more room for the bloom of love in our lives? We can use the metaphor of wiping the slate, and we can savor the message from Mother Nature to begin again here, too.

Every year, without fail, the blooms always occur. Right now, in this season, we have the opportunity to see ourselves in bloom as well, creating new ways to improve how we feel about others and ourselves. What would it feel like to think about us as freshly minted in our minds, free of heaviness? Let’s start by picturing our minds as a closet, and then apply the spring-cleaning concept to our mental baggage and wipe away.

Let go of some of those old ways of dealing with challenging situations in our lives. If you are dissatisfied in certain areas, whether it your job, marriage, etc., ask yourself:  what would it feel like to start over with new thoughts applied to these familiar circumstances?

At Something More we think it is important that clients receive extensive coaching on how to apply the Law of Attraction to their romantic life. In other words like attracts like.  If you are looking for someone fun, exciting, and intelligent, then you need to become the person you want to attract. This is a great example of changing our thoughts by taking action. As I believe, actions speak louder than words.

The first step is to tell ourselves a different story about the situation. For example, let’s say you want your significant other to help out more around the house. You might have wished this for a long time, and every time you think about the situation you get mad and feel disappointed because it hasn’t changed. You might even feel helpless about being able to ever change it. You may not be able to motivate another person, but you can change what you think about the situation. Instead of saying to yourself, “I wish my significant other would contribute more to running our household.” Instead try, “I love my spouse, he/she is trying and I believe he/she will find a way to improve.” It may seem too simple or easy to just find a happier thought, but try it… I find that it works.

Other examples may be “I wish I would get more social invitations.” Instead of waiting around for the guest list to magically include your name, why not start having your own dinner parties and create your own fulfilling social life that might in turn produce those invitations you want? You could even start some sort of wine club, book club, cooking class or whatever you’d like to pursue to satiate those social interaction cravings.

At Something More we recommend to our clients to have a semi-annual cleansing of the mind and heart. What this means is to rid yourself of all negative thoughts and to not dwell on past relationship disappointments. This may sound cliché but it is very true; things could be a lot worse and likely, someone else is suffering more than you. Put a pen to paper and make a list of all the positive aspects in your life, and embrace an attitude of gratefulness and humility. Expressing a loving, kind heart to everyone you encounter is an excellent way to focus on giving to other people to help make them feel good about themselves, rather than letting bitterness and anger get the best of you.

Our minds don’t have to hold on to old messages if we’re not telling ourselves the same old thing. Our minds can incorporate new ways of thinking and these new thoughts will make us feel better. The trick is finding something truthful about the problem and saying the new truth to ourselves instead of the same old tired thought.

Ghandi had it right when he famously said: Our beliefs become our thoughts.

Our thoughts become our words. Our words become our actions.  Our actions become our habits. Our habits become our values. Our values become our destiny.

It is time to create your own destiny. You already know how to feel bad about certain situations. Change your thinking. This spring, take yourself on a journey of self-awareness. So when you’re clearing out the garage, why not take a whack at your mental cobwebs too? Clean out your old thoughts. Begin again. You might just feel great starting immediately.

Learn more about Julia McCurley and her exclusive matchmaking services for Austin singles by visiting