Resolve To Resonate

Resonating means connecting with true beliefs and unconscious patterns. Sound simple? It can be with the effort to be genuinely in touch with the authentic feelings you want to have and really pursue them. Here, The Holographic Repatterning Institute At Austin’s Mary Schneider shares her insights on how to resonate more with everything around you.

Resonance is a powerful concept. If someone resonates with the statement “I am unlovable,” it is highly probable that, even if someone tells them they are loved every day, they will have a very difficult time even hearing they are lovable, let alone believing it. They will, more than likely, still operate out of the belief that they are in fact not a very loveable person with negative consequences for their own choice and well-being.

Where resonance gets even trickier is in the arena of needs; both in meeting the needs of others or having one’s own needs met. If, as a child, a person’s needs are not met on a regular basis, they generally don’t resonate with even having a need let alone having one met or meeting the needs of another. As a result, they may find themselves meeting everyone else’s needs as a compensation for not having their own needs met. Or, even more surprising, not resonating with having needs met may make it impossible for them to recognize when someone is actually meeting their needs – or, conversely, recognizing when they are actually meeting the needs of another.

Perhaps the most dramatic example that I have seen of this situation was with a client of mine who was one of the best caretakers I’ve met. He took wonderful care of everyone and everything in his world. And, he had a lot in his world. He had a wife and kids, and a ranch that included big herds of different animals. I watched him constantly meeting the needs of all of these beings in ways that were genuinely efficient, unique and compassionate. However, he rarely felt that he was doing enough, always felt that he could be doing something more and that, most probably, he was doing something harmful to someone or something.  So as a result, he felt that he could never leave for a vacation break, was tied to the ranch and unable to even get away for a short week-end. He felt seriously and permanently trapped.

This negative perception he had of himself was simply not true. During the process of uncovering this negative resonance pattern, we discovered that he had been an abused child. As a result of his abuse, he completely resonated with not being able to take care of himself – or his siblings. Even though he was only a child, his inability to protect himself and his siblings created a negative belief about his caretaking abilities that he still believed on a sub-conscious level today. This profoundly affected his conscious choices and decisions as his life progressed. As a result, no matter how well he took care of anything or anyone else, this negative resonance prevented him from seeing the competence with which handled his responsibilities.

This type of negative resonance with the inability to take care of himself caused him unnecessary and constant anxiety, stress and tension concerning the health and well-being of all his charges. We all know that the primary cause of disease is stress and he was saddled with a the nagging feeling that he had to have made a mistake or miscalculation somewhere. The ideal situation for him was to make sure that he no longer resonated with the inability to take care of himself and that he did resonate with the belief that he could take care of himself – and others. This repatterning changed his situation dramatically. Currently he is on his way to a much-needed first two-week vacation in years and is feeling perfectly OK with it. He is now able to get away and enjoy it at the same. It is a real a-ha moment for someone who never felt worthy of a vacation. And, just as importantly, it will in the long run be good for his health.

Another interesting negative resonance pattern pops up a lot in my practice.  Marriage. Almost everyone in my practice resonates with divorce, not marriage.  It is my impression that this is because divorce is so prevalent in our society such as media images captured on TV, in the movies, and of course in books. Divorce is in just about everyone’s family. We try to make sure that all of our clients resonate with marriage if they want a partner in their lives. This is important. And, I try to make sure that they resonate with what kind of partner they want and how they want their relationship to look.

How about success versus failure? Many people resonate with failure for a myriad of reasons usually going back to when they were small children. What I see to an alarming degree is that children who had, for instance, a depressed parent who they were seemingly unable to make happy, resonate with the belief that they are failures for failing to help create happiness for that parent. “If I was better, funnier, more perfect, smarter, etc., I could make my mom happy” is what resonates with them. When the child tries to make a parent happy and they aren’t successful, they decide that they are failures and the resonance with this belief follows them later in life into all of their relationships, both personal and professional.

As human beings, people all really want the same things. We want to be heard, have our needs met, be recognized for meeting the needs of others… and to be loved. The power of resonance is such that if people don’t resonate with these concepts they will either not be able to create them or not recognize them when they do show up. Resonance is a natural law. As a society if we don’t resonate with peace or happiness or freedom it will be difficult or impossible for us to achieve it, so let’s make sure that we resonate with what it is we really want and the belief that we can make it happen.

Learn more information on Mary Schneider and the Holographic Repatterning Institute at Austin by visiting