Love is a wonderful thing. Everyone desires it, yet how can you make yourself more dateable in 2013? Austin-based professional matchmaker and relationship expert Julia McCurley shares tips on how to create love and making love last.
Let’s face it, I have the opportunity to speak with frustrated singles all day long. What I am finding is that so often when there is something we decide we want, we spend all of our focus and energy on the flow of getting it.
What we don’t realize is that with an attentive eye focused on ourselves we will find the answer to our quest. If you’ve ever wondered why you may be finding it difficult to find your perfect match, it may be time to analyze what it is you are offering. The following questions are aimed at helping you discover your date-ability.
ARE YOU HAPPY?
People pick up on unconscious thoughts. If you are not happy, it is pretty safe to say you are permeating the air with your negativity. Find out what would really make you happy, and do it. Positive people are people magnets. Find yourself and you may also find the other half you are looking for in your life.
THE EX FILES
Do you say “my ex” more than 5 times a day? What’s done is done. If you want a potential partner to remain interested, I recommend you do not give off signs that you are still emotionally committed. Allow yourself the freedom to be free. Sometimes it is easier to cling to the past than to face what is right in front of you. Do not let thoughts of an ex hold you back from enjoying your future.
Are you financially stable? While this is not an end-all criterion, it does reflect how independent, stable or ambitious you are. If you are not in a comfortable financial place now, make a change. Do some research on getting out of debt, or ways to increase your monetary flow. You will feel happier, and be a better catch, even if all you have is a plan of action that you are carrying out.
FIND OUT IF YOU ARE: DATE-ABLE
Do you have future goals, dreams or desires? A dream is an aspiration for something greater than you have now. It could mean improving yourself, visiting a foreign land, or even owning a rare collector’s piece. Whatever your dreams and goals are to you, it is important to have them, and have plans to achieve them. A person who is trying to achieve a goal or dream is showing that they are willing to grow as a person. It can also show your ability to make something happen for yourself and possibly for a potential partner.
DO FOR YOU
What are you doing for you? If you are not engaged in any hobbies, self-improvement or other interests then you may be giving signals that you will be overly dependent on a potential partner and not pursuing your own interests. Furthermore, having independent interests will help you keep your personal identity in a relationship, which at times can feel like a thing of the past.
Do you know what went wrong in your past relationship(s)? The first step to overcoming a problem is to realize there is one. If you haven’t already, take an objective look at your past relationships and find out how you contributed to their demise.
Do you know what you want in a new partner? If you have not taken the time to narrow this down, this could very likely be the reason you are without. When creating your list, be sure to include things you do not want as well. Mark off which things are red flags and which things you can live with. If you find an interest that might be entering a red flag zone, do yourself a favor and look for someone else.
More questions to consider… Do you feel you may be too insecure? Are you focusing on the past more than you are focusing on the here and now or the future? Do you feel you may be overly critical or negative towards other people or life? Would you date you?
Knowing yourself better is also learning how you can love better. Make 2013 your new year of love.
For more information on Julia McCurley of Something More, visit Trysomethingmore.com