Interdependence is a new paradigm we learn from not being dependent or codependent, yet still very much a present in our relationships and the world. Austin-based Resonance RepatternIng practitioner Mary Schneider weighs in with how to create more interdendence that can positively affect your children and future generations, too.

We are in the midst of a very interesting time in the evolution of our species because we’re on the cusp of a very important paradigm shift that has to do with how we interact with one another. Evolutionarily, we are learning how to become interdependent beings. This shift in our fundamental interaction is happening for the first time in our history and we are learning not to be dependent, independent or co-dependent. Instead, interdependence is the recognition that we all need one another without the ‘neediness’ inherent in traditional modes of relating. We are learning to ask for help when we need it and we also expect to receive it. Therefore, the dawn of interdependent living is upon our culture now.

Most of us are aware of how undesirable it is to operate as adults from a dependent perspective. As for being independent, the Marlboro Man characterization is definitely passé. Many of us were raised to be on our own and were neglected with our own set of inherent problems of connection and bonding. Co-dependency has been around since the beginning of time. Although we are learning to overcome this insidious and painful relationship dynamic, we only became aware of it in the last 40 or 50 years with the advent of treatment for addiction. As our awareness of the many non-coherent manifestations of this disease grows, we are becoming more and more cognizant of the pervasive dysfunction this creates in our family relationships and, unfortunately as a result, in our society. Fortunately, the next generation can be different.

Wild To Mild

One of the most important factors contributing to the evolution of interdependence is the increasing amount of children in today’s society that are getting psychological and energetic healing in earlier and earlier stages of their development. Seeing many of these children in my practice intrigues me with the prospect of living in a world with a whole generation of children who have very little, if any, baggage. These are kids whose forward-thinking parents are allowing them to work through pain and trauma when it occurs instead of when they are 40 and left with a whole lifetime of it to resolve.

What is so significant about this situation is that these children will be more present than any other generation in history. When an adult who has not had any psychological help experiences trauma, then some, if not all of the trauma that occurred in their past is triggered. Ultimately, healing becomes much more daunting and difficult with their past experiences still unresolved. But what happens when these experiences are already healed as in the children today? No triggering; they are being present to what is happening in the moment and thisis empowerment. What does it mean for the world to have a whole generation of empowered kids dealing with what occurs in their lives in the moment it occurs? I do not know the answer, yet I know this is significant since it has never happened before.

To be sure, we need to acknowledge the parents here. These are the children of very compassionate, and even enlightened, parents who recognize that they do not know everything there is to know about raising their children. They usually did not learn coherent parenting from their parents and they are not afraid to admit it. As one very enlightened woman in my practice told me, “I knowI messed up my children so I am happy to pay for the help they need to be OK.”

Parental Guidance Suggested

One very creative, progressive former actress with three little children in Austin came to me originally to work on her young son with ADHD. He was initially diagnosed on the edge of the autistic spectrum and the work they have done has changed his diagnosis and he is no longer in that spectrum. She says, “I am very hopeful about this type of work because I feel that eventually it will change the medical industry. I have been working with Resonance Repatterning, reading Louise Hay and learning about pain, so I am beginning to understand how disease manifests in the body.”

“How does that change the future for my children?” she continues. “My children are going to be able to create who they are and what they want out of life consciously as opposed to making their choices from their sub-conscious. They will be able to choose what they want instead of it choosing them. They will be more conscious overall. They will think yes, this happened to me and I am aware of what triggers me and I choose not to be triggered by this.”

What does this mean for the future of our society? When we take into consideration that what occurs in the family unit is just a microcosm of what is happening in the world at large, the positive possibilities are endless. I am very excited about the prospect of a world populated with a large number of whole and healed young adults, aren’t you?